Every once in a while, I manage to wax profound despite my goofiness; here are two bits I'm particularly proud of:
(From an essay I wrote on the trouble with the "my intolerance of your intolerance" argument): "One cannot claim any sort of moral high ground when they are preoccupied with dragging others through the mud."
(In response to hearing that a former friend's über-fanatic mother has been haranguing her with "Why don't you make CHURCH friends? Friends with GOOD VALUES?"): "Good values are not the sole province of religion, or of a specific church....and if that's the only reason you're 'good', God help you."